150,998 shares
Your steak is too bloody? Give it one of your tampons
296,026 shares
Pour me a glass of whiskey, son i have to take me heart medication.
222,031 shares
The reason I only had one heart attack Was because my heart wasn't such a dumbass to attack me twice
549,794 shares
Im allergic to whiskey It makes my knuckles bleed
362,697 shares
Your mom's out of town this week Today's meal shall be steak with a side of shut the fuck up
208,215 shares
i see you shaved i'm sorry the weight of being a man was too much for you
204,522 shares
It took you 2 trips to take out the garbage? Was your tampon weighing you down?
405,434 shares
tumblr? last time i tumbled was over a pile of bodies in korea
267,799 shares
shot glasses? you mean sippy cups?
277,395 shares
Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves
117,170 shares
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