255,099 shares
Ahhh, doesn't this bed feel all warm and cozy? And don't worry... I'm pretty sure you locked the front door.
70,995 shares
Oh, you just got over that crush of yours? How about I dream a looong, super realistic dream about you two hooking up?
51,223 shares
Hey bro, remember the answer you couldn't remember on that test you just finished? I think now is a better time to tell you what it was
46,078 shares
Yo bro, doesn't it suck that your ex is with someone else? Let's think about that again in five seconds.
50,251 shares
Go downstairs in the dark to get water Hey bro, lets think about the scariest movie you've ever seen
29,242 shares
Finally lets you dream about having your way with that one sexy redhead Starts dream two minutes before alarm clock goes off
59,970 shares
Knows literally everything about me Uses this information to give me perfectly-crafted nightmares
270,897 shares
Able to heal your wounds Makes picking scabs feel good
56,293 shares
Sees that you're having a bad day Reminds you of every mistake you've ever made
26,609 shares
Great friends, OK family, no financial problems, endless possibilities YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KILL YOURSELF
328,315 shares
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