184,339 shares
I found my dad's alter ego account on a message board I purposely troll him and then laugh after he calls me up to complain about the idiots he talks to online.
317,253 shares
When women complain about their exes i've never met i usually side with their exes
84,212 shares
I tell my girlfriend I make much lower than I actually do So I don't have to spend as much on her.
79,747 shares
The only reason I still use Facebook is so I can watch the people I hate become failures at life
183,077 shares
When Someone tells me she is a strong independent woman I actually think she's just very lonely
146,061 shares
I only want to take up running so I can eat more.
113,870 shares
I only open the passenger door for my girlfriend when I need to walk around the car to fart before I get in.
190,813 shares
When I have an argument with my girlfriend I tighten the top of every jar and bottle in the house
467,964 shares
I'm overly polite to people who work in fast food because I know their job is horrible
155,069 shares
I ACTUALLY ENJOY COOKING FOR MY HUSBAND BUT ACT LIKE IT'S A PAIN, SO HE FEELS GUILTY AND DOES MORE ERRANDS AROUND THE HOUSE
178,231 shares
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