Female nurse: "Wow. You don't look like a 39 year old man." me: "Thanks. neither do you."

Female nurse:

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Girl mentions impressive penis size Replies with, "Na, I've seen bigger"

Girl mentions impressive penis size Replies with,

"Do you like role playing?" You mean like dungeons and dragons?

Catch a cute girl's eye with your elbow

Catch a cute girl's eye with your elbow

awesome date both living with parents, no place to hook up

awesome date both living with parents, no place to hook up

Driving to beach with friends Create special iPod playlist so they won't hear my weird music when shuffling

Driving to beach with friends Create special iPod playlist so they won't hear my weird music when shuffling

Saves little boy's football from rolling to busy road hits his face when kicking it back

Saves little boy's football from rolling to busy road hits his face when kicking it back

Gets flashed by girls in adjacent car pretends to ignore them

Gets flashed by girls in adjacent car pretends to ignore them

get a new video game at birthday party secretly wish everyone would leave so you could play

get a new video game at birthday party secretly wish everyone would leave so you could play

having lunch with girl tomorrow spends all day coming up with conversation topics

having lunch with girl tomorrow spends all day coming up with conversation topics

Make out with hot chick after drinking she decides to quit drinking the next day

Make out with  hot chick after drinking she decides to quit drinking the next day
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