Listens to your story Tries to one-up you with his own version

Listens to your story Tries to one-up you with his own version - Listens to your story Tries to one-up you with his own version  Scumbag Steve

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Puts a copyright on his scumbag hat sues everyone on the internet

Puts a copyright on his scumbag hat  sues everyone on the internet

Starts statement with "Not to sound racist, but..." is absolutely racist

Starts statement with

"one more drink will make you feel just right bro" Wake up in the forest

Invites you to lunch has no money

Invites you to lunch has no money

Accepts money to take cab Drives home drunk

Accepts money to take cab Drives home drunk

"Yeah can I just get a cup for water?" fills with soda

Offers to split the last doughnut AS he touches all of the doughnut

Offers to split the last doughnut AS he touches all of the doughnut

bus is packed sits on the outside seat

bus is packed sits on the outside seat

Borrows $50 and you never see him again money well spent.

Borrows $50 and you never see him again money well spent.

Quits smoking His own cigarettes

Quits smoking  His own cigarettes
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