202,402 shares
I said I was leaving him he told me he'd tie a red balloon to me and find me later
330,682 shares
I asked him how we could spice up our sex life he said that he wanted to get to fifth base
16,887 shares
told him i was pregnant with twins he named them first and repost
25,689 shares
Makes "why not zoidberg?" joke calls her a karma whore
26,765 shares
I told him that we were in a book He told me that he knew already because he saw it on Reddit
he spends $59.95 on groceries at walmart every week the fridge is always empty
632,798 shares
Asked him if he wanted to see the dolphin outside he just murmured something about crafty hurricanes
15,033 shares
i told him i was pregnant he just yelled "the price of children is too damn high!"
19,757 shares
asked him if he wanted to try something new he said: why not Zoidberg?
25,031 shares
I asked him if he wanted some cucumber He said "I know where that's been"
20,502 shares
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