This is going to be a long drive. Pack a bowl and pass it up here. We smoked the last of what we had on the way to IHOP this morning.

This is going to be a long drive. Pack a bowl and pass it up here. We smoked the last of what we had on the way to IHOP this morning.  The Rock Driving

i was standing in line to the cash machine and this old lady asked me if i could check her balance. so i pushed her over

i was standing in line to the cash machine and this old lady asked me if i could check her balance. so i pushed her over  Sad Keanu

Hey, What did you think of avatar? Not my favorite, but by far James Cameron's best wo-

Hey, What did you think of avatar? Not my favorite, but by far James Cameron's best wo-   Inception

Hey dude, pretty sure I just got the last of the flies so, you know, you can put down that fly swatter

Hey dude, pretty sure I just got the last of the flies so, you know, you can put down that fly swatter  Misunderstood Spider

He said "Sexy time?" he made it a rage comic i said "no"

He said

"Yeah, babe. I'm a pretty big deal on reddit." Not any more.

I don't always floss, But when I do, I have a dentist appointment in 20 minutes

I don't always floss,
 But when I do, I have a dentist appointment in 20 minutes  The Most Interesting Man In The World

Forget your weed at his house doesn't smoke it

Forget your weed at his house doesn't smoke it  Good Guy Greg

if you make a popular post you will waste all day checking on it

if you make a popular post you will waste all day checking on it  Captain Hindsight

i told him i was leaving him he mumbled something about extra toilet paper

i told him i was
leaving him he mumbled something about extra toilet paper  Redditors Wife