I'll have you know that my girlfriend and I spent 6 hours assembling IKEA furniture And we only threatened to break up twice

I'll have you know that my girlfriend and I spent 6 hours assembling IKEA furniture And we only threatened to break up twice  Tough Spongebob

not sure if upper case "i" or lower case "L"

not sure if upper case

I use big complicated words while fighting with my boyfriend Because I know he wont understand and it will shut him up faster.

I use big complicated words while fighting with my boyfriend Because I know he wont understand and it will shut him up faster.  Confession Bear

if you get hit on by a waitress she wants the tip

if you get hit on by a waitress she wants the tip  Actual Advice Mallard

She texts, "Come over, no one is home ;)" Went over, no one was home

She texts,

When our home was broken into I went to my daughters room and threw away all of her Justin Bieber things. I told her the burglars took them.

When our home was broken into  I went to my daughters room and threw away all of her Justin Bieber things. I told her the burglars took them.   Confession Bear

Halfway to weight loss goal Boobs stick out further than stomach

Halfway to weight loss goal Boobs stick out further than stomach  Success Kid

ask her as a joke to bring you dinner Is in your driveway 45 minutes later with food

ask her as a joke to bring you dinner Is in your driveway 45 minutes later with food  Overly Attached Girlfriend

always tell the truth because when you have to tell that one really big lie, everybody will believe you

always tell the truth because when you have to tell that one really big lie, everybody will believe you  Actual Advice Mallard

Gets discount at restaurant because he knows the manager Tips the difference

Gets discount at restaurant because he knows the manager   Tips the difference  Misc