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the police are after me in line at starbucks. i'm going to buy their drinks as a token of my appreciation for their service

the police are after me in line at starbucks. i'm going to buy their drinks as a token of my appreciation for their service Successful Black Man
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16,181 shares

I asked how the koi pond was going he giggled and said it was 6 feet deep

I asked how the koi pond was going he giggled and said it was 6 feet deep Redditors Wife
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22,690 shares

Jakucha must support the revolution If he wants soviet pussy

Jakucha must support the revolution If he wants soviet pussy Lenin Cat
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16,780 shares

Velcro What a rip off

Velcro What a rip off Lame Pun Coon
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11,936 shares

marijuana kills people? FALSE. if you die while stoned you are just an idiot.

marijuana kills people? FALSE. if you die while stoned you are just an idiot. Schrute
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60,705 shares

Has a girlfriend doesn't make out with her in front of everybody

Has a girlfriend doesn't make out with her in front of everybody Good Guy Greg
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21,242 shares

Gets excited after phone vibrates Vibrated due to low battery

Gets excited after phone vibrates Vibrated due to low battery Forever Alone
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13,195 shares

Sees random hot girl on elevator, remembers her floor # Next time on elevator, presses her floor's button without asking. silence.

Sees random hot girl on elevator, remembers her floor # Next time on elevator, presses her floor's button without asking. silence. Socially Awkward Penguin
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13,986 shares

Annoying Childhood Friend can't relate

Annoying Childhood Friend can't relate Forever Alone
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11,316 shares

I'm going to beat my girlfriend home to surprise her with dinner

I'm going to beat my girlfriend home to surprise her with dinner Successful Black Man
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17,799 shares