the police are after me in line at starbucks. i'm going to buy their drinks as a token of my appreciation for their service

the police are after me in line at starbucks. i'm going to buy their drinks as a token of my appreciation for their service  Successful Black Man

I asked how the koi pond was going he giggled and said it was 6 feet deep

I asked how the koi pond was going he giggled and said it was 6 feet deep  Redditors Wife

Jakucha must support the revolution If he wants soviet pussy

Jakucha must support the revolution If he wants soviet pussy  Lenin Cat

Velcro What a rip off

Velcro What a rip off  Lame Pun Coon

marijuana kills people? FALSE. if you die while stoned you are just an idiot.

marijuana kills people? FALSE.  
if you die while stoned you are just an idiot.   Schrute

Has a girlfriend doesn't make out with her in front of everybody

Has a girlfriend doesn't make out with her in front of everybody  Good Guy Greg

Gets excited after phone vibrates Vibrated due to low battery

Gets excited after phone vibrates Vibrated due to low battery  Forever Alone

Sees random hot girl on elevator, remembers her floor # Next time on elevator, presses her floor's button without asking. silence.

Sees random hot girl on elevator, remembers her floor # Next time on elevator, presses her floor's button without asking. silence.  Socially Awkward Penguin

Annoying Childhood Friend can't relate

Annoying Childhood Friend can't relate  Forever Alone

I'm going to beat my girlfriend home to surprise her with dinner

I'm going to beat my girlfriend  home to surprise her with dinner  Successful Black Man