Not sure if safe to fart or about to shit my pants

Not sure if safe to fart or about to shit my pants  Futurama Fry

Hates rival college with a passion Didn't know rivalry existed until a week ago

Hates rival college with a passion Didn't know rivalry existed until a week ago  College Freshman

Religion An alternative to people who can't understand science

Religion An alternative to people who can't understand science  Neil deGrasse Tyson

not sure if college is easy or already way behind in every class

not sure if college is easy or already way behind in every class  Futurama Fry

She said our chances were one in a million Funny, So is finding her body

She said our chances were one in a million Funny, So is finding her body  Karate Kyle

The number of college freshmen dying is too damn high

The number of college freshmen dying is too damn high  Jimmy McMillan

Don't know how to spell a word? Look it up in the dictionary

Don't know how to spell a word? Look it up in the dictionary  Unhelpful High School Teacher

Brings laptop to lecture 50 minutes of facebook

Brings laptop to lecture 50 minutes of facebook  College Freshman

not sure if hate job or hate working for a living

not sure if hate job or hate working for a living  Futurama Fry

I asked him how we could spice up our sex life he said that he wanted to get to fifth base

I asked him how we could spice up our sex life he said that he wanted to get to fifth base  Redditors Wife