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Kisses your balls before bed "I just kissed the kids goodnight."

Kisses your balls before bed
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487,678 shares

I STOLE MY NEIGHBORS DOG BECAUSE THEY WERE ALWAYS LOSING IT AND IT WAS NEGLECTED AND GAVE IT TO MY EX-WIFE AND I DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AT ALL

I STOLE MY NEIGHBORS DOG BECAUSE THEY WERE ALWAYS LOSING IT AND IT WAS NEGLECTED AND GAVE IT TO MY EX-WIFE AND I DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AT ALL Confession Bear
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201,355 shares

A dog is taller sitting down than standing up

A dog is taller sitting down than standing up Sudden Clarity Clarence
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80,029 shares

Freddie Mercury? Who is he? A Bruno Mars ripoff?

Freddie Mercury? Who is he? A Bruno Mars ripoff? Musically Oblivious 8th Grader
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369,841 shares

WHEN I WAS A KID... I loved the smell of my vagina. So I stuck my finger in my vagina and made my grandma smell my finger.

WHEN I WAS A KID... I loved the smell of my vagina. So I stuck my finger in my vagina and made my grandma smell my finger. Confession kid
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318,180 shares

Talk to a girl with speech defect at a party don't realize she has a speech defect and play along with her "funny" articulation

Talk to a girl with speech defect at a party don't realize she has a speech defect and play along with her
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233,821 shares

I ate leaves as a kid because the tree stars from the land before time looked delicious

I ate leaves as a kid because the tree stars from the land before time looked delicious Confession kid
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504,694 shares

Want to avoid drunk-texting your ex-gf? Delete her number.

Want to avoid drunk-texting your ex-gf? Delete her number. Actual Advice Mallard
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264,457 shares

Never have to worry about drunk texting an ex Because I don't have any

Never have to worry about drunk texting an ex Because I don't have any Forever Alone Success Kid
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214,621 shares

Puts pen in pocket Without pen cap

Puts pen in pocket Without pen cap Insanity Wolf
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122,468 shares