If you ever suspect someone's following your car Take four right turns, it forms a circle. If they're still behind you, they're following

If you ever suspect someone's following your car Take four right turns, it forms a circle. If they're still behind you, they're following  Actual Advice Mallard

sees a guy in a wheelchair, holds the door open to the stairwell

sees a guy in a wheelchair, holds the door open to the stairwell  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Speeds through a school zone and crosswalk filled with kids and volunteers Honks horn, flips them off and calls them all assholes

Speeds through a school zone and crosswalk filled with kids and volunteers   Honks horn, flips them off and calls them all assholes  Scumbag Steve

I'll have you know that i asked a couple at the movies to stop talking and my heart only raced for twenty minutes

I'll have you know that i asked a couple at the movies to stop talking and my heart only raced for twenty minutes  Tough Spongebob

I don't always do the vacuuming but when I do I spend 90% of the time trying to suck up something I could pick up with my hands instantly

I don't always do the vacuuming but when I do I spend 90% of the time trying to suck up something I could pick up with my hands instantly   The Most Interesting Man In The World

Did you notice "?" is half a lightbulb Because when you get the answer you have a full lightbulb

Did you notice

If i could just get a job where i didn't have to deal with customers, i would be so happy.

If i could just get a job where i didn't have to deal with customers, i would be so happy.  Craig would be so happy

I was in the supermarket and saw a loud spoiled child running with a shopping cart toward a pole I did nothing to stop him and he lost his two front teetth

I was in the supermarket and saw a loud spoiled child running with a shopping cart toward a pole I did nothing to stop him and he lost his two front teetth  Confession Bear

my wife doesn't like to go to new restaurants i buy gift cards to restaurants I want to try and tell her I got them from work.

my wife doesn't like to go to new restaurants i buy gift cards to restaurants I want to try and tell her I got them from work.  Confession Bear

Don't continually ask someone how their job search is going It's going terribly until they tell you they got a new job

Don't continually ask someone how their job search is going It's going terribly until they tell you they got a new job  Actual Advice Mallard