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Oh, you just drank an absurd amount of alcohol and went to bed at 4am? Let's wake up at 7:30

Oh, you just drank an absurd amount of alcohol and went to bed at 4am? Let's wake up at 7:30 Scumbag Brain
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221,555 shares

Open Birthday Card Pretend not to notice money while reading the card

Open Birthday Card Pretend not to notice money while reading the card Socially Awkward Penguin
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186,444 shares

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye it turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time...

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye it turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time... Bad Joke Eel
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258,414 shares

Uses microwave when everyone is sleeping stops it before it beeps

Uses microwave when everyone is sleeping stops it before it beeps Misc
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143,439 shares

Marijuana is an addictive drug i know because i tried it once

Marijuana is an addictive drug i know because i tried it once Sheltering Suburban Mom
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260,929 shares

Tell a smoker that smoking is unhealthy and nobody bats an eye Tell a fat person that being fat is unhealthy and everybody loses their minds

Tell a smoker that smoking is unhealthy and nobody bats an eye Tell a fat person that being fat is unhealthy and everybody loses their minds Joker Mind Loss
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458,547 shares

She wanted to play hard to get Now She's playing Hard to find...

She wanted to play hard to get Now She's playing Hard to find... Karate Kyle
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243,110 shares

checks oncoming traffic before crossing one way street gets hit by car going in reverse

checks oncoming traffic before crossing one way street gets hit by car going in reverse Bad Luck Brian
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315,812 shares

Finally gets rid of acne at 19 hairline starts receeding 3 months later

Finally gets rid of acne at 19 hairline starts receeding 3 months later Bad Luck Brian
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226,673 shares

dreams are people's screensavers

dreams are people's screensavers 10 Guy
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240,273 shares