Spend five minutes smoking and slowly killing yourself and no one bats an eye Spend that same five minutes just getting a breath of fresh air then EVERYBODY LOSES THeir minds!

Spend five minutes smoking and slowly killing yourself and no one bats an eye Spend that same five minutes just getting a breath of fresh air  then EVERYBODY LOSES THeir minds!  Joker Mind Loss

Anything can be turned into a sandwich... ANYTHING

Anything can be turned into a sandwich... ANYTHING  Foul Bachelor Frog

LETs ELDERLY WOMaN GO AHEAD OF HIM in lottery ticket line she wins the $590 Million jackpot

LETs ELDERLY WOMaN GO AHEAD OF HIM in lottery ticket line she wins the $590 Million jackpot  Bad Luck Brian

my turban came out really nice today all my friends are white and can't tell

my turban came out really nice today all my friends are white and can't tell  First World Problems

Sets off firecracker near your head to wake you up tells you to "calm the fuck down" when you want to beat the shit out of him

Sets off firecracker near your head to wake you up tells you to

Knows its time for his morning walk Quietly curls up next to you until you're ready to get up

Knows its time for his morning walk Quietly curls up next to you until you're ready to get up  Good Dog Greg

A character doesn't survive to the end because they're the main character They're the main character because they survive to the end

A character doesn't survive to the end because they're the main character
 They're the main character because they survive to the end  Sudden Clarity Clarence

SCREAM HIS NAME IGNORES YOU MAKE A TINY CRINKLE WITH A BAG OF CHIPS UP YOUR ASS IMMEDIATELY

SCREAM HIS NAME
IGNORES YOU MAKE A TINY CRINKLE WITH A BAG OF CHIPS
 UP YOUR ASS IMMEDIATELY  Scumbag dog

Roommate dropped the shampoo bottle in the shower Oh fuck. Hes dead.

Roommate dropped the shampoo bottle in the shower Oh fuck. Hes dead.  Paranoid Parrot

Oh, you're flying somewhere? You had better put a picture of the airplane wing on Facebook.

Oh, you're flying somewhere? You had better put a picture of the airplane wing on Facebook.   Condescending Wonka