I've never understood this

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME  YOU DRIVE A MILE TO THE GYM TO WALK A MILE ON A TREADMILL? Skeptical Third World Kid

Just take my word on this one

IF YOUR RELIGIOUS BEHAVIORS HURT OTHERS  YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG   Actual Advice Mallard

Maybe this means I should switch jobs more often?

LAST DAY AT THE OLD JOB: PIZZA PARTY IN MY HONOR  FIRST DAY AT THE NEW JOB: PIZZA PARTY IN MY HONOR  Success Kid

Am I the only one who this happens to?

SOMEONE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT A REALLY SERIOUS ISSUE? PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO START SMILING FOR NO REASON Scumbag Brain

Take it from me...

IF YOU'RE HITTING ON SOMEONE AND THEY AREN'T ASKING ANY QUESTIONS BACK  GET OUTTA THERE Actual Advice Mallard

My friend asked me this when he wanted some croutons.

CAN YOU PASS ME THE  SALAD COOKIES 10 Guy

Skeptical Third World Kid

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU HAVE PAVED ROADS  BUT DRIVE THROUGH MUD AND DIRT FOR FUN? Skeptical Third World Child

Advice for the socially oblivious party goer

IF YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE LEFT WHO DOESN'T LIVE THERE  YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE Actual Advice Mallard

Hurricane Karen

    HURRICANE KAREN            NEVER FORGET       Misc

Every time I drive at night

NOT SURE IF THE CAR BEHIND ME IS FLASHING IT'S BRIGHTS OR JUST BOUNCING UP AND DOWN WITH THE ROAD  Futurama Fry