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sees that you're holding the door for him walks faster

sees that you're holding the door for him walks faster Good Guy Greg
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34,710 shares

Sees computer repair technician trying to rip you off fixes your computer on the spot for free

Sees computer repair technician trying to rip you off fixes your computer on the spot for free Good Guy Greg
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32,776 shares

Finds nothing that can be prepared in under 2 minutes starves

Finds nothing that can be prepared in under 2 minutes starves Foul Bachelor Frog
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98,959 shares

"May i go to the bathroom?" "is it an emergency?"
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90,450 shares

I don't always sing popular songs out loud but when I do, I mumble during the verses

I don't always sing popular songs out loud but when I do, I mumble during the verses The Most Interesting Man In The World
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44,044 shares

i'll probably have no reason to leave the house today morning shower averted

i'll probably have no reason to leave the house today morning shower averted Foul Bachelor Frog
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33,499 shares

Set alarm for 8am wake up naturally at 7.59

Set alarm for 8am wake up naturally at 7.59 Success Kid
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111,869 shares

pants fold weirdly at the zipper everyone must think its an erection

pants fold weirdly at the zipper everyone must think its an erection Paranoid Parrot
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332,196 shares

If jimmy cracked corn and no one cared Why is there a song about it?

If jimmy cracked corn and no one cared Why is there a song about it? Philosoraptor
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120,033 shares

Sells itself with whole grains has as much sugar as a candy bar

Sells itself with whole grains has as much sugar as a candy bar Scumbag cerel
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22,813 shares