ON COUCH: WON'T LET YOU STAY AWAKE TO WATCH FAVORITE SHOW IN BED: "HEY, REMEMBER THAT THING THAT'S BEEN BUGGING ALL WEEK?"

ON COUCH: WON'T LET YOU STAY AWAKE TO WATCH FAVORITE SHOW IN BED:

CLEAR, CONCISE, THOUGHT EXITS MOUTH AS COMPLETE GIBBERISH

CLEAR, CONCISE, THOUGHT EXITS MOUTH AS COMPLETE GIBBERISH  Scumbag Brain

Holds door open for hot girl She uses the door next to you

Holds door open for hot girl She uses the door next to you  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Hosts the "Daily" show 4 days a week

Hosts the

Splits something with you. takes the smaller half

Splits something with you. takes the smaller half  Good Guy Greg

Let's take all the Santorum supporters and put them in Theocratic Uganda

Let's take all the Santorum supporters and put them in Theocratic Uganda   Push it somewhere else Patrick

Can explain every rule for every drinking game imaginable Still hasn't memorized student id number

Can explain every rule for every drinking game imaginable Still hasn't memorized student id number  Lazy College Senior

Who is Kony's favourite rapper? Soulja boy!

Who is Kony's favourite rapper? Soulja boy!  Bad Joke Eel

Have to wear a tie perfect length on first try

Have to wear a tie perfect length on first try  Success Kid

goes to uganda to help the cause dies

goes to uganda to help the cause dies  College Freshman