GF wrote me a love "haiku" I told her it had the wrong number of syllables

GF wrote me a love

Tells coworker she's lost weight as a compliment Miscarriage

Tells coworker she's lost weight as a compliment Miscarriage  Socially Awkward Penguin

dont leave a sports game early history is made in the final seconds

dont leave a sports game early  history is made in the final seconds   Actual Advice Mallard

Don't get a job They take away your Medicare once you get your own money

Don't get a job  They take away your Medicare once you get your own money  Scumbag Steve

Ladies, if you want to let him know you're in the mood just touch it.

Ladies, if you want to let him know you're in the mood just touch it.  Actual Advice Mallard

The weather is getting nice I can't avoid shaving my legs anymore

The weather is getting nice I can't avoid shaving my legs anymore  First World Problems

Repeatedly tells you it has tools to help you land a job after graduation Directs you to Monster.com

Repeatedly tells you it has tools to help you land a job after graduation Directs you to Monster.com  Scumbag University

Person walking in front opens door for me 4 times in a row "Thanks, Thanks, Thanks, Thank You"

Person walking in front opens door for me 4 times in a row

Women praise me for putting the toilet seat back down after I pee I never lift it up

Women praise me for putting the toilet seat back down after I pee I never lift it up  Confession Bear

movie theater candy is sold in cardboard boxes because cardboard won't make crinkling sounds

movie theater candy is sold in cardboard boxes because cardboard won't make crinkling sounds  Sudden Clarity Clarence