calls cops to report bar fight upon arriving, fights cops

calls cops to report bar fight upon arriving, fights cops  overly manly man

one reason for the high divorce rate is abstinence pledges.

one reason for the high divorce rate is abstinence pledges.  Sudden Clarity Clarence

First Aid kit? You mean Duct tape

First Aid kit? You mean Duct tape  overly manly man

If I could only shoot that target three times I'd have a free mortgage.

If I could only shoot that target three times I'd have a free mortgage.    Grandma finds the Internet

Doesn't feel like brushing teeth chews gum

Doesn't feel like brushing teeth chews gum  Foul Bachelor Frog

grew up rich now i have no idea how to manage my money

grew up rich now i have no idea how to manage my money  First World Problems

brings a knife to a gunfight wins

brings a knife to a gunfight wins  overly manly man

Just learned how to masturbate came in handy

Just learned how to masturbate came in handy   Lame Pun Coon

I have more conversations in my head than i do in real life

I have more conversations in my head than i do in real life  Confession Bear

Not sure if offering gum out of kindness Or implying i have bad breath

Not sure if offering gum out of kindness Or implying i have bad breath  Futurama Fry