I don't always use the microwave but when I do, i see how much i can get done before the timer reaches :00

I don't always use the microwave but when I do, i see how much i can get done before the timer reaches :00  The Most Interesting Man In The World

If you think one man can fix the country you're gonna have a bad time

If you think one man can fix the country you're gonna have a bad time  Super Cool Ski Instructor

watched the debates until they decided to kill big bird

watched the debates until they decided to kill big bird  Woody Psycho

tuned into the debate only paid attention to the stuttering moderator

tuned into the debate only paid attention to the stuttering moderator  Seven Psychopaths

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives  Bad Joke Eel

Choose Two: enough sleep, grades, or social Life? False. Choose One.

Choose Two: enough sleep, grades, or social Life? False.
Choose One.  Dwight

At work, goes to a restroom on a different floor to poop so that no one will recognize shoes

At work, goes to a restroom on a different floor to poop so that no one will recognize shoes  Paranoid Parrot

Legos? You mean my carpet?

Legos? You mean my carpet?  overly manly man

odd has 3 letters even has 4

odd has 3 letters even has 4  Sudden Clarity Clarence

Every deodorant is long lasting when you get up at 1pm

Every deodorant is long lasting when you get up at 1pm  Foul Bachelor Frog