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I don't always use the microwave but when I do, i see how much i can get done before the timer reaches :00

I don't always use the microwave but when I do, i see how much i can get done before the timer reaches :00 The Most Interesting Man In The World
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142,938 shares

If you think one man can fix the country you're gonna have a bad time

If you think one man can fix the country you're gonna have a bad time Super Cool Ski Instructor
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477,576 shares

watched the debates until they decided to kill big bird

watched the debates until they decided to kill big bird Woody Psycho
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30,022 shares

tuned into the debate only paid attention to the stuttering moderator

tuned into the debate only paid attention to the stuttering moderator Seven Psychopaths
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48,104 shares

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives Bad Joke Eel
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326,630 shares

Choose Two: enough sleep, grades, or social Life? False. Choose One.

Choose Two: enough sleep, grades, or social Life? False. Choose One. Dwight
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257,072 shares

At work, goes to a restroom on a different floor to poop so that no one will recognize shoes

At work, goes to a restroom on a different floor to poop so that no one will recognize shoes Paranoid Parrot
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43,497 shares

Legos? You mean my carpet?

Legos? You mean my carpet? overly manly man
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118,136 shares

odd has 3 letters even has 4

odd has 3 letters even has 4 Sudden Clarity Clarence
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234,508 shares

Every deodorant is long lasting when you get up at 1pm

Every deodorant is long lasting when you get up at 1pm Foul Bachelor Frog
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159,749 shares