i have to poop but my phone battery is at 5%

i have to poop but my phone battery is at 5%  First World Problems

Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral Another One Bites the Dust

Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral  Another One Bites the Dust  Bad Luck Brian

Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian

Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian  Bad Luck Brian

I don't always shower with my girlfriend but when I do, I slap her with my penis

I don't always shower with my girlfriend but when I do, I slap her with my penis  The Most Interesting Man In The World

She said I was too old for karate I decided she was too old to live.

She said I was too old for karate I decided she was too old to live.  Karate Kyle

I don't always get caught staring at girls' asses But when I do, I spend the next 90 seconds staring at the exact same spot so they think I was just staring off into space.

I don't always get caught staring at girls' asses But when I do, I spend the next 90 seconds staring at the exact same spot so they think I was just staring off into space.  The Most Interesting Man In The World

my daughter and her boyfriend lock the bedroom door so they can study without being interrupted

my daughter and her boyfriend lock the bedroom door so they can study without being interrupted  Oblivious Suburban Mom

Left text book in car Sweet, no homework.

Left text book in car Sweet, no homework.  Lazy College Senior

Has to make phone call Writes out full script before calling

Has to make phone call Writes out full script before calling  Socially Awkward Penguin

Visited the Virgin Islands Now Called "the Islands"

Visited the Virgin Islands Now Called