Say something funny, only one person hears that person repeats it, everyone laughs

Say something funny, only one person hears that person repeats it, everyone laughs  Socially Awkward Penguin

I should have taken the what do you want to be when you grow up questions a lot more seriously as a kid.

I should have taken the what do you want to be when you grow up questions a lot more seriously as a kid.   Sudden Clarity Clarence

dude my professors don't collect homework I'm never gonna have to study anything outside of class. I'm gonna have so much free time

dude my professors don't collect homework I'm never gonna have to study anything outside of class. I'm gonna have so much free time  College Freshman

I only want to take up running so I can eat more.

I only want to take up running so I can eat more.  Confession Bear

received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants

received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants  Forever Alone

I only open the passenger door for my girlfriend when I need to walk around the car to fart before I get in.

I only open the passenger door for my girlfriend when I need to walk around the car to fart before I get in.  Confession Bear

Why was hitler not invited to the barbecue? He always burns the franks

Why was hitler not invited to the barbecue? He always burns the franks  Bad Joke Eel

I Think I Might be emotionally constipated, I haven't given a shit in days.

I Think I Might be 
emotionally constipated, I haven't given a shit in days.  Grumpy Cat

Not sure if jar is too tight for me to open Or husband is mad at me

Not sure if jar is too tight for me to open Or husband is mad at me  Futurama Fry

If there really is an infinite number of universes We're already having sex in at least one.

If there really is an infinite number of universes We're already having sex in at least one.  Pickup Line Scientist