Gave homeless person $2 in the parking lot Saw him buying food in grocery store

Gave homeless person $2 in the parking lot Saw him buying food in grocery store  Success Kid

Too nerdy to be popular not nerdy enough to be accepted by the nerds

Too nerdy to be popular not nerdy enough to be accepted by the nerds  Socially Awkward Penguin

Whenever a woman says “do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.

Whenever a woman says “do whatever you want”  do NOT do whatever you want.   Actual Advice Mallard

asks to borrow electric razor to shave, which i say yes to... comes out of bathroom with facial hair intact

asks to borrow electric razor to shave, which i say yes to... comes out of bathroom with facial hair intact   Scumbag Steve

If you murder someone, bury the victim 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog Body-sniffing hounds will dig up the dead dog and police will think it's a false positive

If you murder someone, bury the victim 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog Body-sniffing hounds will dig up the dead dog and police will think it's a false positive  Actual Advice Mallard

Asked girlfriend what she wanted to do tonight Tells me she wants to order pizza after we have sex.

Asked girlfriend what she wanted to do tonight Tells me she wants to order pizza after we have sex.  Success Kid

Listens to audiobook on shuffle

Listens to audiobook on shuffle  Insanity Wolf

Running a bit late for work or a meeting in the morning? Take a few minutes to stop and get a box of donuts for the office. Everyone will remember the gesture, not your tardiness.

Running a bit late for work or a meeting in the morning? Take a few minutes to stop and get a box of donuts for the office. Everyone will remember the gesture, not your tardiness.  Actual Advice Mallard

Showered after both roommates Still had hot water

Showered after both roommates Still had hot water  Success Kid

I can't go on reddit at night because then I will have nothing to do at work the next day

I can't go on reddit at night because then I will have nothing to do  at work the next day  First World Problems