Jokingly asked new girlfriend to make me a sandwich after sex She asked me what I wanted on it and made it

Jokingly asked new girlfriend to make me a sandwich after sex She asked me what I wanted on it and made it  Success Kid

Why did the sea lion go to the Tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal.

Why did the sea lion go to the Tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal.   Sea Lion Brian

I'm a really fast walker And everyone else isn't

I'm a really fast walker And everyone else isn't  First World Problems

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop a guy running with a fire extinguisher.

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop a guy running with a fire extinguisher.  Actual Advice Mallard

gets mad while playing video games throws your controller

gets mad while playing video games throws your controller  Scumbag Steve

If the girl/guy you like doesn't text you back keep texting them until they do, they'll admire your perseverance

If the girl/guy you like doesn't text you back keep texting them until they do, they'll admire your perseverance  Malicious Advice Mallard

If you preface any insult with "no offense" you can say as many hurtful things as you want

If you preface any insult with

oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth

oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth  Scumbag Brain

Trying to figure out where to take your girl for valentines day dinner? chicks love hooters

Trying to figure out where to take your girl for valentines day dinner? chicks love hooters  Malicious Advice Mallard

Didn't feel like attending Monday class Teacher didn't either

Didn't feel like attending Monday class Teacher didn't either  Success Kid