Wife asked if her butt looked bigger Told her it's because her waist looks smaller

Wife asked if her butt looked bigger Told her it's because her waist looks smaller  Success Kid

Keep laughing bitch Ill turtle slap the shit out of you

Keep laughing bitch Ill turtle slap the shit out of you  Turtle Slap

Not sure if I'm too tired to get out of bed Or just hate my life.

Not sure if I'm too tired to get out of bed Or just hate my life.  Futurama Fry

you're telling me you have a machine so that you can walk when you don't need to go somewhere?

you're telling me you have a machine so that you can walk when you don't need to go somewhere?  Skeptical Third World Kid

I don't always finish a bottle of shampoo but when i do, i leave it in the shower for the next 2 months

I don't always finish a bottle of shampoo but when i do, i leave it in the shower for the next 2 months  The Most Interesting Man In The World

kid urinal ? you mean the long-dick comfort station

kid urinal ? you mean the long-dick comfort station   overly manly man

Found ex in a Subway Restraunt Made me a sandwich

Found ex in a Subway Restraunt Made me a sandwich  Success Kid

I don't always get sick but when I do I am a massive baby about it

I don't always get sick but when I do I am a massive baby about it  The Most Interesting Man In The World

Sees the creepy guy in the class has a crush on you pairs you two as partners for the rest of the year

Sees the creepy guy in the class has a crush on you pairs you two as partners for the rest of the year  Scumbag Teacher

Taking awful cold medicine as a kid taught me how to take shots in college

Taking awful cold medicine as a kid taught me how to take shots in college  Sudden Clarity Clarence