Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

Insomniac derp

INSOMNIAC SO REQUIRE MUSIC TO SLEEP GIRLFRIEND SINGS ME TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

Some people say you shouldn't live in the past. Those people are wrong.

MISSED MY CAKE DAY... NEW ZEALAND'S TIMEZONE MEANS IT'S STILL MY CAKE DAY. Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

macebeef haha

SO WHO'S SIDE IS EVERYONE ON? Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

she must have used the bathroom 8 times.

LEFT PINEWORM MEDICINE OUT IN THE BATHROOM  DATE DIDN'T NOTICE AND I STILL GOT LAID. Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

IDK What just Happened...

GOT HANDJOB FROM BIG TITTIED CHICK ON COUCH ON FIRST DATE... ...WHILE HER LESBIAN SISTER AND HER GIRLFRIEND WERE WATCHING TV. Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

What the Original Bad Luck Brian IS thinking

TAKES BAD YEARBOOK PHOTO NOW AN INTERNET CELEBRITY Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

Nick Carraway

NICK CARRAWAY: THIRD WHEELS HARDER THAN A TRICYCLE STILL ENDS UP LANDING A GIRL Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

Nick Carraway

THIRD WHEELS MORE THAN A TRICYCLE STILL ENDS UP LANDING A GIRL  Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

sister's birthday

NEEDED FACEBOOK TO TELL ME IT'S MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY SHE LIVES IN ANOTHER COUNTRY Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

alcoholism proficiency

ACCUSED OF ALCOHOLISM CALL IT