Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Girlfriend says "you look cute with stubble" "You too"

Girlfriend says

Has one night stand Tries to sneak out in the morning, door is locked. Can't find key. Can't get out.

Has one night stand Tries to sneak out in the morning, door is locked.  Can't find key.  Can't get out.  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Never forgets a face Never remembers a name

Never forgets a face Never remembers a name  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

perfect, funny interaction with stranger repeat it out loud for next hour

perfect, funny interaction with stranger repeat it out loud for next hour  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Girl compliments you on your appearance only topic of thought for remainder of the day

Girl compliments you on your appearance only topic of thought for remainder of the day  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

flashes boyfriend when he walks into room doesn't realize he has friends over

flashes boyfriend when he walks into room doesn't realize he has friends over  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

has successful conversation with black coworker "see you later, dawg"

has successful conversation with black coworker

Finally goes to a party Sits and pets the cat all night

Finally goes to a party Sits and pets the cat all  night  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

OPENS DOOR FOR HOT GIRL AT STARBUCKS SPILLS COFFEE IN THE PROCESS

OPENS DOOR FOR HOT GIRL AT STARBUCKS SPILLS COFFEE IN THE PROCESS  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

remembers everything about everyone I meet pretends not to, so I don't look like a stalker

remembers everything about everyone I meet pretends not to, so I don't look like a stalker  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin