Schrute

NO such thing as a free lunch? fact. arrows cost money.

NO such thing as a free lunch? fact.
arrows cost money.  Schrute

Grass is greener on the other side? FALSE. grass is greenest where there is fertile soil and optimal sunlight

Grass is greener on the other side? FALSE.  
grass is greenest where there is fertile soil and optimal sunlight  Schrute

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Question. Are they north american cardinals or sandhill cranes? Trick question. Sandhill cranes do not fit in the hand.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Question.
Are they north american cardinals or sandhill cranes?
Trick question.
Sandhill cranes do not fit in the hand.
  Schrute

they say the best offense is a good defense. FALSE. the best offense is offense.

they say the best offense is a good defense. FALSE.  
the best offense is offense.  Schrute

Can't read my p-p-pokerface? Fact. I am adept in emotion concealment

Can't read my p-p-pokerface? Fact.

I am adept in emotion concealment  Schrute

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED? FALSE. YOU NEED WATER AND RATIONS.

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED? FALSE.  
YOU NEED WATER AND RATIONS.  Schrute

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADAM: HERE'S 2,459 UNREAD EMAILS Schrute

Drawing circles

FALSE TECHNICALLY, THAT'S NOT A CIRCLE Schrute

Destroy Leadville

LEADVILLE WILL DESTROY ME?  FALSE...I HAVE THE SPEED OF A MONGOOSE ON COCAINE Schrute

Your Wife

WHEN YOU RECEIVE A CALL  AT 11 PM Schrute