Paranoid Parrot

Chest pain? Probably a heart attack

Chest pain? Probably
a heart attack  Paranoid Parrot

go to a store wearing something you bought there get nervous they'll think you're trying to steal it

go to a store wearing something you bought there get nervous they'll think you're trying to steal it  Paranoid Parrot

about to correct someone's spelling googles it to make sure

about to correct someone's spelling googles it to make sure  Paranoid Parrot

Home alone still closes and locks the bathroom door

Home alone still closes and locks the bathroom door  Paranoid Parrot

Watches garage door as it closes So the murderer cant roll under at the last second

Watches garage door as it closes So the murderer cant roll under at the last second  Paranoid Parrot

Brushed up against at concert immediately check pocket for wallet

Brushed up against at concert immediately check pocket for wallet  Paranoid Parrot

before class, turns laptop volume down to zero then hits mute

before class, turns laptop volume down to zero then hits mute  Paranoid Parrot

my Signature looks slightly different than last time im going to get arrested for stealing my own identity

my Signature looks slightly different than last time im going to get arrested for stealing my own identity  Paranoid Parrot

Remotely locks car Presses three more times, just in case

Remotely locks car Presses three more times, just in case  Paranoid Parrot

Moves in with boyfriend Stops pooping entirely, eventually requires emergency medical attention

Moves in with boyfriend Stops pooping entirely, eventually requires emergency medical attention  Paranoid Parrot