Matrix Morpheus

just shut the hell up

  Matrix Morpheus

being cool next to girls

AM I COOL HONEY OR NO  > YES HONEY U LOOK COOL ;( Matrix Morpheus

matrix funny cunt

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU YOU'RE A FUCKTARD Matrix Morpheus

Yolorang Morpheus

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THE YOLORANG IS REAL? Matrix Morpheus

catchy title, i'm creative again

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT AN ATHEIST BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPERSTITIOUS? Matrix Morpheus

Real Talk

TAKE THE BLUE PILL, AND YOUR LIFE IS DULL TAKE THE RED PILL AND LIKE ERIC STEELE COMEDY Matrix Morpheus

where you ask?

IT'S NOT A REAL PLACE IT'S JUST A DREAM Matrix Morpheus

To my friends with a toddler - she's moved from a crib to a bed, and they're wondering when her sleep patterns will "return to normal"

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOUR CHILD IS NO LONGER A BABY  9 HOURS PER NIGHT IS NORMAL Matrix Morpheus

To my friends with a toddler - she's moved from a crib to a bed, and they're wondering when her sleep patterns will "return to normal"

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOUR CHILD IS GETTING OLDER ... ... AND THE OLDER SHE GETS, THE MORE THINGS WILL CHANGE, INCLUDING HER SLEEP PATTERNS Matrix Morpheus

THE FEMINIST MATRIX

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THERE IS NO PATRIARCHY Matrix Morpheus