Malicious Advice Mallard

Use super glue

USE SUPER GLUE  FOR A MORE INVOLVED ORNAMENT Malicious Advice Mallard

I'll always regret to have done this

WANNA SHOW FORTITUDE AFTER AN ARGUMENT WHIT SOMEONE IMPORTANT FOR YOU? NEVER TALK TO THAT PERSON AGAIN Malicious Advice Mallard

Bad mallard. Ballard!

IF I WANTED ANY SHIT OUT OF YOU I'D PICK YOUR BEAK. Malicious Advice Mallard

Joe's B-day

WANT TO HAVE FUN?  BRUSH YOUR TEETH THEN DRINK ORANGE JUICE  OR COME TO JOE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY! Malicious Advice Mallard

If the marshmallow is launched at 45 degrees then it will go furthest, because if is was on 90 degrees then is will immediately start to go down and at 15 it will just go up but at 45 degrees it will go out for distance and up so it doesn't immediately go

YA IM A SCIENTIST DUCK I EAT MARSHMALLOWS INSTEAD OF DOING THE EXPIREMENT SO IT MIGHT TAKE UP TO A FEW MONTHS OR YEARS Malicious Advice Mallard

Alcohol and Vascualar Surgery are Immiscible

PAIN AFTER VASCULAR SURGERY? DRINK COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL TO THICKEN YOUR BLOOD AND PREVENT HEMORHAGING Malicious Advice Mallard

when bae h8 u

JOKES LMAO Malicious Advice Mallard

Actually, doesn't that INCREASE the likeliness of being stoned?

BEING ACCUSED FOR BEING A WITCH TO BE SENTENCED TO STONING IF YOU DON'T BLEED? CONSUME ERGOT. ERGOT WILL MAKE THE BLOOD VESSELS AND CIRCULATION WIDER. Malicious Advice Mallard

Ruined my whole Halloween night.

IF SOMEONE SAYS HELP YOURSELF TO CANDY DON'T FUCKING TAKE HANDFULS Malicious Advice Mallard

bad advice quacky

IF YOU COME UP WITH A JOKE BASED ON SOMEONE'S NAME TELL THEM IN CASE THEY HAVEN'T HEARD IT BEFORE Malicious Advice Mallard