Malicious Advice Mallard

like butter

HATE SCOOPING HARD ICECREAM? WARM UP YOUR SPOON IN THE MICROWAVE, WARM STEEL WILL GO THROUGH LIKE BUTTER. Malicious Advice Mallard

is this ok?

YOU SHOULD NOT JUMP OFF CLIFFS. Malicious Advice Mallard

I guess this is what they are thinking...

WHEN MAKING A COMPLICATED PURCHASE, LIKE FOR A NEW PC, COME IN 5 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING YOU'LL BE THE ONLY CUSTOMER IN THE STORE AND GET LOTS OF HELP  Malicious Advice Mallard

dick landlord

LANDLORD TRIES TO KICK YOU OUT BY SAYING YOU ARE A SMOKER WHEN YOU ARE NOT RENEW YOUR LEASE AND NEVER LEAVE  Malicious Advice Mallard

wat

  Malicious Advice Mallard

woman instinct

IF A GIRL EVER PULLS OUT A KNIFE ON YOU DURING AN ARGUMENT, PULL OUT SOME BREAD & MAYO HER WOMAN INSTINCTS WILL KICK IN AND SHE'LL MAKE YOU A SANDWICH Malicious Advice Mallard

Theater solutions

LEAVE THE BOXES OUT. SEAN PREFERS IT THAT WAY. Malicious Advice Mallard

The American initiative

WHEN IN DOUBT DROP A NUKE Malicious Advice Mallard

Anti-Advice Mallard on Respectability Politics

WEAR A BELT WITH YOUR PANTS YOUR LIFE WILL BE DEEMED MORE WORTHY THAN THESE THUGS AND THE POLICE WON'T SHOOT YOU Malicious Advice Mallard

Anti-Advice Mallard on Respectability Politics

IF YOU WEAR A BELT ON YOUR PANTS THE POLICE WON'T SHOOT YOU Malicious Advice Mallard