Actual Advice Mallard

be nice

JUDGING EVERYBODY AIN'T MAKE YOU BETTER Actual Advice Mallard

Information duck says you're all crazy.

MARK ZUCKERBERG ISN'T GOING TO GIVE ANYONE MONEY.  FACEBOOK WILL ALWAYS BE FREE!   Actual Advice Mallard

3 for adler

ABOUT 90% OF SEXUAL ASSUALT ARE CAUSED BY SOMEONE THE VICTIM KNOWS #DONTJUSTKNOWIT                      Actual Advice Mallard

Gamesystem tips

IF YOU BOUGHT YOUR KID A GAMESYSTEM OR GAMES FOR CHRISTMAS OPEN THEM AND INSTALL ALL THE UPDATES BEFORE WRAPPING THEM Actual Advice Mallard

Don't be a douche nozzle

DON'T ASSUME EVERYONE HAS SEEN EPISODE 7 YET THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS BUSY FOR EVERYONE, AND NOT EVERYONE HAS THE TIME TO SEE IT OPENING WEEKEND Actual Advice Mallard

Wrapping presents

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HELP WRAP PRESENTS DO A SHITTY JOB Actual Advice Mallard

If you want to prevent yourself from texting and driving

USE A FAMILIAR DATE WITH 8 NUMBERS (MM/DD/YYYY) SO YOU ARE FORCED TO PULL OVER AND THEN TEXT Actual Advice Mallard

Help small Businesses

IF YOU GO TO A LOCALLY OWNED BUSINESS FOR SOMETHING SPECIFIC AND THEY DON'T HAVE IT TELL THEM WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SO THEY CAN GET A BETTER IDEA OF WHAT THEIR CUSTOMERS WANT  Actual Advice Mallard

Please remember.

IF YOUR WINDSHIELD WIPERS ARE ON THEN YOUR LIGHTS SHOULD BE TOO Actual Advice Mallard

Good Squeak

WHEN YOUR REED SQUEAKS DURING A PERFORMANCE STAY CALM AND ACT LIKE IT WASN'T YOURS Actual Advice Mallard