quickmeme: all your memes, gifs & funny pics in one place

view more »

Actual Advice Mallard

If you are going out with your wife Tell her the reservation is 45 minutes earlier than it is. That way you'll only be 15 minutes late.

If you are going out with your wife Tell her the reservation is 45 minutes earlier than it is. That way you'll only be 15 minutes late. Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

299,402 shares

If you are going to break up with your girlfriend hide your valuables beforehand

If you are going to break up with your girlfriend hide your valuables beforehand Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

93,460 shares

If you're running from someone in a car and you're on foot Run in the direction opposite of the way the car is facing. The car will be forced to u-turn, giving you a head start

If you're running from someone in a car and you're on foot Run in the direction opposite of the way the car is facing. The car will be forced to u-turn, giving you a head start Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

184,211 shares

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop a guy running with a fire extinguisher.

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop a guy running with a fire extinguisher. Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

391,880 shares

Men: Wear Suits it's like when women wear lingerie, but you can wear it in public

Men: Wear Suits it's like when women wear lingerie, but you can wear it in public Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

391,826 shares

When walking around in unsafe areas at night, wear dark clothes and hooded sweatshirt Criminals tend not to start shit with other apparent criminals

When walking around in unsafe areas at night, wear dark clothes and hooded sweatshirt Criminals tend not to start shit with other apparent criminals Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

392,631 shares

If your boyfriend wants to have anal sex and you don't Just tell him his dick is way too big

If your boyfriend wants to have anal sex and you don't Just tell him his dick is way too big Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

390,867 shares

If you want to pick up a girl keep your back straight and lift with your knees

If you want to pick up a girl keep your back straight and lift with your knees Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

805,830 shares

If your S.O. wrongs you, don't vent to your parents about it You might forgive them one day but your parents won't.

If your S.O. wrongs you, don't vent to your parents about it You might forgive them one day but your parents won't. Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

628,010 shares

if you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone for future reference you can text that picture to people as a great excuse

if you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone for future reference you can text that picture to people as a great excuse Actual Advice Mallard
add your own caption

439,521 shares