"I'm like a duck: calm above the water, and paddling like hell underneath. "

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Unclogging the toilet? Put a hole in a garbage bag and put the plunger handle through it, that way you can drape the bag over the toilet and not get splashed

Unclogging the toilet? Put a hole in a garbage bag and put the plunger handle through it, that way you can drape the bag over the toilet and not get splashed

Have an untimely boner? Flex your leg muscles until it goes away

Have an untimely boner? Flex your leg muscles until it goes away

If you have little self motivation and cant see that changing anytime soon dont waste your/your parents money on college yet

If you have little self motivation and cant see that changing anytime soon dont waste your/your parents money on college yet

Need to delete entire words? Hold Ctrl and press backspace

Need to delete entire words? Hold Ctrl and press backspace

ctrl + shift + Del you'll theank me later

ctrl + shift + Del you'll theank me later

When you have a party, Keep the beer and ice in the washer. the ice will drain away.

When you have a party, Keep the beer and ice in the washer. the ice will drain away.

When you receive a compliment look them in the eyes, smile, and just say "thank you!"

When you receive a compliment look them in the eyes, smile, and just say

Add a teaspoon of olive oil in your glass of multivitamin juice so that your body will be able to absorb all the fat-soluble vitamins

Add a teaspoon of olive oil in your glass of multivitamin juice so that your body will be able to absorb all the fat-soluble vitamins

masturbate first before making questionable sexual decisions.

masturbate first before making questionable sexual decisions.

Wear several condoms at once

 Wear several condoms at once
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