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Last week in the local Sprouts Market, I accidentally sneezed while standing in front of all the organic lettuce. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to cover my mouth, and I didn't have money to buy everything I sneezed on...so I just ran away.

Last week in the local Sprouts Market, I accidentally sneezed while standing in front of all the organic lettuce. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to cover my mouth, and I didn't have money to buy everything I sneezed on...so I just ran away. - Last week in the local Sprouts Market, I accidentally sneezed while standing in front of all the organic lettuce. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to cover my mouth, and I didn't have money to buy everything I sneezed on...so I just ran away. Confession Bear
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207 shares

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals
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759,913 shares

I tell everyone my dad is dead Because he's really a Pedophile serving 10+ years in prison.

I tell everyone my dad is dead Because he's really a Pedophile serving 10+ years in prison.
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720,414 shares

I miss my mommy

I miss my mommy
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675,318 shares

I'm kind of glad Reddit screwed up trying to solve the Boston Bombing Because a lot of Redditors get off on pretending to be smart and need to be taken down a peg.

I'm kind of glad Reddit screwed up trying to solve the Boston Bombing Because a lot of Redditors get off on pretending to be smart and need to be taken down a peg.
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646,350 shares

A middle aged female customer was being extremely rude to me at the checkout, So I gave her the "senior discount" and watched her die a little on the inside.

A middle aged female customer was being extremely rude to me at the checkout, So I gave her the
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637,671 shares

People think I drink smoothies to be healthy I drink them because I put rum in them and enjoy day drinking without judgement

People think I drink smoothies to be healthy I drink them because I put rum in them and enjoy day drinking without judgement
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625,970 shares

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.
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614,800 shares

When my ex had her new BF threaten me for no reason I called the bank that was looking for her car and had it repossessed while she was at work

When my ex had her new BF threaten me for no reason I called the bank that was looking for her car and had it repossessed while she was at work
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602,416 shares

my wife constantly abuses the thermostat so I turned that one into a dummy thermostat and installed a new one she doesn't know about

my wife constantly abuses the thermostat so I turned that one into a dummy thermostat and installed a new one she doesn't know about
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598,899 shares

I blocked kids from playing League of Legends so my game would stop lagging.

I blocked kids from playing League of Legends so my game would stop lagging.
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583,003 shares

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