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so this guy -wearing a beanie even smaller than mine- holds me down, takes off my pants, and pulls out this weird-lookin' knife... i passed out at that point, but when i woke up - i shit you not - half my dick was missing and my parents were throwing a pa

so this guy -wearing a beanie even smaller than mine- holds me down, takes off my pants, and pulls out this weird-lookin' knife... i passed out at that point, but when i woke up - i shit you not - half my dick was missing and my parents were throwing a pa - so this guy -wearing a beanie even smaller than mine- holds me down, takes off my pants, and pulls out this weird-lookin' knife... i passed out at that point, but when i woke up - i shit you not - half my dick was missing and my parents were throwing a pa drunk baby
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268 shares

And then I says to her, I says, No, I got nose. YOUR

And then I says to her, I says, No, I got nose. YOUR
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682,647 shares

AND I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS FUCKING JUST COMES OUT OF NOWHERE... EAGLE

AND I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS FUCKING JUST COMES OUT OF NOWHERE... EAGLE
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613,599 shares

SO I was sucking on her tits Then the husband walks in and I just shit myself.

SO I was sucking on her tits Then the husband walks in and I just shit myself.
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564,935 shares

not only did i suck on her tits in front of her husband she literally wiped my ass after

not only did i suck on her tits in front of her husband she literally wiped my ass after
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370,562 shares

and i shit you not that plane landed right in my mouth

and i shit you not that plane landed right in my mouth
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345,038 shares

this one time, I got circumcised... I couldn't walk for two years!

this one time, I got circumcised... I couldn't walk for two years!
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334,530 shares

so i'm walking home piss drunk and i think to myself "When did i learn to walk?"

so i'm walking home piss drunk and i think to myself
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330,643 shares

I'm just, i'm just sayin That bitch, Dora. I'd explore it.

I'm just, i'm just sayin That bitch, Dora. I'd explore it.
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267,459 shares

so then i said "no, this little piggys going to the bar

so then i said
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221,545 shares

Okay, but just one more beer I have to be up at 3 A.M. tomorrow to wake my parents up

Okay, but just one more beer I have to be up at 3 A.M. tomorrow to wake my parents up
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219,200 shares

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