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Greetings injured human, I just finished eating all of the flies and bugs in the house so you don't get any bites while your knee heals. And honestly, I'm feeling a bit fat right now. Wait, is that a camera? Are you posting this on Facebook? Oh God no.

Greetings injured human, I just finished eating all of the flies and bugs in the house so you don't get any bites while your knee heals. And honestly, I'm feeling a bit fat right now. Wait, is that a camera? Are you posting this on Facebook? Oh God no. - Greetings injured human, I just finished eating all of the flies and bugs in the house so you don't get any bites while your knee heals. And honestly, I'm feeling a bit fat right now. Wait, is that a camera? Are you posting this on Facebook? Oh God no. Misunderstood Spider
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106 shares

I'm waiting for you in the corner of the shower hearing you sing is the best part of my day

I'm waiting for you in the corner of the shower hearing you sing is the best part of my day
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285,383 shares

Hey, I'm going to lurk around your bed tonight Because I've noticed a mosquito is buzzing around your ear when you sleep.

Hey, I'm going to lurk around your bed tonight Because I've noticed a mosquito is buzzing around your ear when you sleep.
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240,301 shares

Hey I just cleaned the bugs from your windows What's that nerf gun for?

Hey I just cleaned the bugs from your windows What's that nerf gun for?
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198,832 shares

Hey man, there was a wasp in here but I got him, I know how you hate wasps, and you know I'm always looking out for you-- ...whats the book for

Hey man, there was a wasp in here but I got him, I know how you hate wasps, and you know I'm always looking out for you-- ...whats the book for
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193,167 shares

Hey buddy, I noticed you had lot of bugs in your bathroom, so I've taken care of them ...whats the shampoo bottle for

Hey buddy, I noticed you had lot of bugs in your bathroom, so I've taken care of them ...whats the shampoo bottle for
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161,546 shares

Hey buddy, just finished catching all of the mosquitoes, no West nile virus for you or your family! Whatcha doin' with that rolled up newspaper?

Hey buddy, just finished catching all of the mosquitoes, no West nile virus for you or your family! Whatcha doin' with that rolled up newspaper?
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154,453 shares

Hi, can i live in your spacious house? I promise to eat flies and keep to myself. dear god! did you just spray me with furniture polish? you crazy bitch!

Hi, can i live in your spacious house? I promise to eat flies and keep to myself. dear god! did you just spray me with furniture polish? you crazy bitch!
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148,213 shares

Leave your car window down? i'll make sure no bugs get in brah.

Leave your car window down? i'll make sure no bugs get in brah.
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128,975 shares

Oh hello, I've taken residence in the fence by your window. As you can see I've killed dozens of flies and gnats No need for the lighter, I can see just fine... what are you.. ARRHHHGHGGGGGGH!!!!

Oh hello, I've taken residence in the fence by your window. As you can see I've killed dozens of flies and gnats No need for the lighter, I can see just fine... what are you.. ARRHHHGHGGGGGGH!!!!
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124,333 shares

my family is cold and misunderstood. Can we crash in the corner for tonight? Or squish my wife. That's cool too.

my family is cold and misunderstood. Can we crash in the corner for tonight? Or squish my wife. That's cool too.
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103,584 shares

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