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"Oh, you dreamt you got in a fight? Here's some adrenaline so you can't fall back asleep"

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2,277 shares

Can effortlessly learn any language But only while you're too young to care.

Can effortlessly learn any language But only while you're too young to care.
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772,660 shares

Has earned 2 bachelors, a masters, and a doctorate Needs to sing the alphabet to remember where J goes

Has earned 2 bachelors, a masters, and a doctorate Needs to sing the alphabet to remember where J goes
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764,760 shares

Gets inspired to work out, study hard, and turn my life around 1 Am

Gets inspired to work out, study hard, and turn my life around 1 Am
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759,676 shares

Hey, remember that thing your boyfriend did six months ago? He should be in trouble for that again.

Hey, remember that thing your boyfriend did six months ago? He should be in trouble for that again.
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551,280 shares

oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth

oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth
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531,908 shares

Did you just turn that test in? Because I finally figured out how to solve that problem and man, did you fuck up.

Did you just turn that test in? Because I finally figured out how to solve that problem and man, did you fuck up.
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510,111 shares

At a funeral. remembers funniest joke you ever heard.

At a funeral. remembers funniest joke you ever heard.
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504,799 shares

oh, your alarm went off. let's brush your teeth and get dressed in a dream

oh, your alarm went off. let's brush your teeth and get dressed in a dream
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504,354 shares

It's your first day off in months and all you want to do is sleep-in? 5:30 am it is

It's your first day off in months and all you want to do is sleep-in? 5:30 am it is
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485,981 shares

Dead tired at 8AM on weekdays after a full nights sleep Wide awake at 8AM on weekends after insufficient sleep

Dead tired at 8AM on weekdays after a full nights sleep Wide awake at 8AM on weekends after insufficient sleep
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476,959 shares

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