I tell people I'm 5 minutes away When I haven't even left the house yet

I tell people I'm 5 minutes away When I haven't even left the house yet - I tell people I'm 5 minutes away When I haven't even left the house yet  Confession Bear

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I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals

I tell everyone my dad is dead Because he's really a Pedophile serving 10+ years in prison.

I tell everyone my dad is dead Because he's really a Pedophile serving 10+ years in prison.

I miss my mommy

 I miss my mommy

I'm kind of glad Reddit screwed up trying to solve the Boston Bombing Because a lot of Redditors get off on pretending to be smart and need to be taken down a peg.

I'm kind of glad Reddit screwed up trying to solve the Boston Bombing Because a lot of Redditors get off on pretending to be smart and need to be taken down a peg.

A middle aged female customer was being extremely rude to me at the checkout, So I gave her the "senior discount" and watched her die a little on the inside.

A middle aged female customer was being extremely rude to me at the checkout, So I gave her the

People think I drink smoothies to be healthy I drink them because I put rum in them and enjoy day drinking without judgement

People think I drink smoothies to be healthy I drink them because I put rum in them and enjoy day drinking without judgement

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.

When my ex had her new BF threaten me for no reason I called the bank that was looking for her car and had it repossessed while she was at work

When my ex had her new BF threaten me for no reason I called the bank that was looking for her car and had it repossessed while she was at work

my wife constantly abuses the thermostat so I turned that one into a dummy thermostat and installed a new one she doesn't know about

my wife constantly abuses the thermostat so I turned that one into a dummy thermostat and installed a new one she doesn't know about

I blocked kids from playing League of Legends so my game would stop lagging.

I blocked kids from playing League of Legends so my game would stop lagging.
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