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so then i'm walking around on the water and one of my homies in the boat gets all excited and wants to do it too and im all like "yeah bro, c'mon. Just, like, look at me and believe or something." we all laughed really hard when he fell in

so then i'm walking around on the water and one of my homies in the boat gets all excited and wants to do it too and im all like
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280 shares

So i like went to the future the other day and i was like wtf marijuana is illegal?

So i like went to the future the other day and i was like wtf marijuana is illegal?
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131,462 shares

comes to earth and preaches above all else to love one another people who claim to follow his teachings judge everyone and their mother

comes to earth and preaches above all else to love one another people who claim to follow his teachings judge everyone and their mother
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63,620 shares

And I was like, Why do you think god created "New Year's Eve" and not "New Year's steve?"

And I was like, Why do you think god created
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19,605 shares

And i was like, if you haven't sinned bro, throw it and what do you know, he pussies out

And i was like, if you haven't sinned bro, throw it and what do you know, he pussies out
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17,049 shares

so i was chillin' with my homies at the last supper and i was like bros... this food your eating is my body.. they were all like no way! And I was like, Yahweh

so i was chillin' with my homies at the last supper and i was like bros... this food your eating is my body.. they were all like no way! And I was like, Yahweh
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15,609 shares

So I was like, "Yo abraham, you should sacrifice your son." Then I was like, "woah, I was just kidding, bro"

So I was like,
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14,906 shares

So this pontius pilate guy has me crucified But after three days I was like "Nah bro"

So this pontius pilate guy has me crucified But after three days I was like
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12,438 shares

So they were all like YOLO! So I said "Cool story bro, give me 3 days"

So they were all like YOLO! So I said
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10,088 shares

And I was like, turn the other cheek, bros Then peter chopped his ear off

And I was like, turn the other cheek, bros Then peter chopped his ear off
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10,071 shares

So then i was all like "mom, chill out i'll be back in like 3 days, tops."

So then i was all like
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9,895 shares

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