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Did I tell you I have a super power? No, what is it? I can make a red light turn green just by staring at it!

Did I tell you I have a super power? No, what is it? I can make a red light turn green just by staring at it! - Did I tell you I have a super power? No, what is it? I can make a red light turn green just by staring at it! JJ Jameson
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104 shares

What do engineers use for birth control? what? Their personalities

What do engineers use for birth control? what? Their personalities
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176,566 shares

I was at a restaurant yesterday and my waitress had a black eye, so I ordered really slow why? because she obviously doesn't listen

I was at a restaurant yesterday and my waitress had a black eye, so I ordered really slow why? because she obviously doesn't listen
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116,076 shares

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic cop shouted to me, "Hey, what's your disability?" what you tell him? "Tourettes, you fucking cunt!"

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic cop shouted to me,
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114,700 shares

Parker, you know my favorite brand of rice? no, what? Uncle Ben's.

Parker, you know my favorite brand of rice? no, what? Uncle Ben's.
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103,301 shares

Parker! I need you to take some pictures of someone for me. Pictures of who? The new Spiderman, Andrew Garfield.

Parker! I need you to take some pictures of someone for me. Pictures of who? The new Spiderman, Andrew Garfield.
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97,278 shares

I just started the seaweed diet what's the seaweed diet? I see weed and I smoke it

I just started the seaweed diet what's the seaweed diet? I see weed and I smoke it
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82,564 shares

What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? I'm can't think of anything... Women

What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? I'm can't think of anything... Women
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75,672 shares

did you know that the toothbrush was invented in alabama? really? yep, if it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a "teethbrush".

did you know that the toothbrush was invented in alabama? really? yep, if it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a
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62,234 shares

doctor Octopus robbed a bank this morning did he have a gun? no, but he was well armed

doctor Octopus robbed a bank this morning did he have a gun? no, but he was well armed
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46,616 shares

Would you say that the word "cat" is found in the R section of a dictionary? No, not in the Rs That's not what your aunt May said last night

Would you say that the word
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45,598 shares

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