You want to read Twilight and you're 9 years old? Are you ready for "THE TALK" yet? No? Didn't think so. Come over here and let me show you some books which are really worth reading...

You want to read Twilight and you're 9 years old? Are you ready for

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I'm Sorry we don't have any "comic books" But we do have plenty of Graphic Novels

I'm Sorry we don't have any

Where's non-fiction? See the fiction section? Everywhere but there.

Where's non-fiction? See the fiction section? Everywhere but there.

You want a FIRST edition of "The Iliad"? Sure. You build the fire, and I'll warm up my voice. I hope my ancient Greek's not too rusty.

You want a FIRST edition of

Why is twilight in the children's section? because the fireplace is already full

Why is twilight in the children's section? because the fireplace is already full

Ask me to watch your kid while you go get coffee? Sure! I definitely studied medieval literature in college for that.

Ask me to watch your kid while you go get coffee? Sure! I definitely studied medieval literature in college for that.

The 'dead bird book'? I think you mean "To Kill A Mockingbird", genius.

The 'dead bird book'? I think you mean

Shakespeare, but, like in English? You're going to drop out as soon as you're 16, aren't you?

Shakespeare, but, like in English? You're going to drop out as soon as you're 16, aren't you?

Wow! You have the best job! It must be great to be able to sit behind the desk and read all day. *Headdesk*

Wow!  You have the best job!  It must be great to be able to sit behind the desk and read all day. *Headdesk*

Censorship: We should think of the children. We wouldn't want them to think for themselves now, would we?

Censorship:
We should think of the children. We wouldn't want them to think for themselves now, would we?

No, you can't buy a book, photocopy it at Staples, and return it for a full refund. Thanks for alerting me to your cunning scheme, genius.

No, you can't buy a book, photocopy it at Staples, and return it for a full refund. Thanks for alerting me to your cunning scheme, genius.
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