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The Most Interesting Man In The World
I don't always listen to dubstep but when i ejaculate uncontrollaby
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I don't always stay home on Sunday nights but when I do, I watch Downton Abbey, eat baked brie and write my capstone paper
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I don't always go skiing in Utah but when I do, I like to brag about it on Facebook
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I don't often drink Heineken, but when I do It's probably the best beer in the world
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I Don't Always Eat Dinner At The House But When I Do, I Shit My Fucking Brains Out
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I don't always drop my phone in the toilet but when I do, I just peed
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I don't always make vegan tofu curry but when I do, I make it with a fish sauce
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I don't always vote But when I do, it's because I cheated on my citizenship test
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I don't always hand out packs... ...but when I do, Kevin is first in line (BLAST OFF!!)
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I don't always walk onto campus but when I do, there are crazy bible thumpers in front of the EUC
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