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Success Kid
2 a.m. first time home all day. High As fuck. mom made chocolate cake
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Shows up to work an hour early uses time to introduce co-worker to reddit
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Forget pack of gum in jeans pocket when doing the laundry Laundry comes out smelling minty fresh
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Adolf Hitler Killed 11 Million... #RoevWade Has Killed Over 55 Million Now that I am safe, I'm pro-choice!
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Went to a party to play wingman Awesome friend got a girlfriend
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Block Party Get to ride my bike in the street
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post facebook status in the middle of the night still get tons of comments and likes
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late for work still the first one in the office
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Fix a computer problem at work Coworker offers to pay me for a side job
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Farted in car with parents drove by a dead skunk
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