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Success Kid
Asked Mom what's the bacon for? "loaded mashed potatoes"
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Slept with a coworker She acts like it never happened
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a phone rings It's not mine
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Wife went away for weekend Only used one plate the whole time
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Today was moms bday mailed card 3 days ago
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Turned 20 today Beat teen pregnancy
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Fell Asleep with Open Soda in my hand Still there unspilled when I woke up
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stop speeding around a corner where cops sometimes hide there were cops
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Stuck at church Can browse R/atheism on phone
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Had pms break down at work. Started crying for no reason. Boss gives me the day off.
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