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Success Kid
Drove 30 MPH above speed limit didn't pull me over
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Ordered Plain Pie Because I Was Broke Got Given Chilli, Cheese and Bacon Pie By Mistake
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Woman states no one has ever brought her to orgasm Created a sex monster after ten minutes of oral
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Sent someone generated meme on twitter Got retweeted
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Waitress told me to enjoy my food Didn't respond "you too"
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Had a pimple on my face for a week Didn't try to pop it
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Baby Slept through the night
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Pivotal Wins! Now to figure out how to win customers where ballot stuffing is acceptable
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Germany is on the front page For something that isn't World War II related
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Nervously turned down promotion Got offered same pay rate as new position for my old job, as well as $1500 to fix my car
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