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Success Kid
Stayed on Reddit all class only one in the class to have the answer when called on
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40 degrees outside
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Daylight Savings? the time on my car radio is right again
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Took frozen pizza out of package all of the cheese is still on it
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Girlfriend told me I don't brush long enough. The dentist tells her she brushes too long and has three cavities.
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three squares of TP left one wipe to clean bum
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Got rear-ended in a hit-and-run on the Interstate. flipped and totalled my truck. Other guys license plate was found stuck on my truck.
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North Korea masters of procrastination
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told my ex i wanted to stop having sex crush called randomly asking to cuddle that night
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Met GF's dad last night Raved to rest of the family about me
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