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Success Kid
Was about to call and dump my girlfriend She calls me to say that its over, but wants to have casual sex at least once a week
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Blacked out at the bar Didn't forget to close out my tab
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fake injury at work for short term disability get job as stripper while off work. Also RX for pain meds.
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Shows up to teach class drunk Students think you are Haymitch
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No one destroys anything All the puke lands in the sink or toilet.
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Stare at tits Bitch thinks I'm hungry
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Took a massive dump Sparkling clean asshole
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all out of food girlfriend just accidentally ordered a pizza to my address
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Ticket Ripper tells you to enjoy the movie didn't say "you too"
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Accidentally flushed while still peeing Finished before bowl emptied
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