Story Time Jesus

This dude wasn't sure if he could drive And I was like "bro just let me take the wheel"

This dude wasn't sure if he could drive And I was like

Sometimes I think I should have stayed a carpenter. The money was good, and I was my own boss. And I was the Nailer, not the Nail-ee.

Sometimes I think I should have stayed a carpenter.  The money was good, and I was my own boss. And I was the Nailer, not the Nail-ee.   Story Time Jesus

So I was like, "Yeah, mom, I get it. I haven't been laid either. True story."

So I was like,

So there was like 5000 of them and they were like, "Man we're fucking starving." I took one look at the loaves and fish And i was like, "I got this."

So there was like 5000 of them and they were like,

"So I says to the guy, 'bro, fear not when walking through shadowy paths' 'Me, my boy Paul & the rest of the Apostle crew are packin' heat. we got this shit on lockdown.'" Psalm 23:4

So then i was like "paul, why you gotta hate on me bro?" So then he's all like "i'm sorry jesus." and And i was like "yea i forgive you, but i'm gonna blind you first."

So then i was like

He was like, "bro, you won't." And On the third day i rose again.

He was like,

so these Egyptians were messing with my bro Moses so i drowned them

so these Egyptians were messing with my bro Moses so i drowned them   Story Time Jesus

Fuckin' Onions john 11:35

Fuckin' Onions  john 11:35  Story Time Jesus

ONE TIME I GOT SOOO HAMMERED I WOKE UP IN CAVE THREE DAYS LATER!

ONE TIME I GOT SOOO HAMMERED I WOKE UP IN  CAVE THREE DAYS LATER!   Story Time Jesus
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